Twenty years of age, Pisces, aspiring vagabond
|pro-life advocates:||*verbally harasses abortion patients and pickets outside of clinics, compromising the safety and privacy of the patients*|
|westboro baptist church:||*holds up picket signs that say how jewish, muslim, and gay people are going to hell and that god them personally*|
|ferguson protesters:||*protests peacefully over the murder of an unarmed black teenager*|
|police:||what the fUCK this is horrendous and completely out of order call in all units|
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats."